Day Twenty-Three

Five days until I see the surgeon...and do I have a lot of questions for him..... 
I picture him seeing me in the waiting room with my brief case and whispering "tell her I'm not here," to one of his gate-keepers.

This morning I did a little freehand schematic of my legs with arrows and squiggles going to different notes off to the side so I don't forget anything when I go in.  My biggest question is still...(sorry about the broken record)...how does swelling work into this whole rehab equation?  My knees are so swollen and painful even before the PT (I'm told that normally you expect the swelling after the PT which also happens) that it scares me to do some of the PT.  Should I just take pain killers to the point of being able to ignore the pain and swelling and push through the exercises?  Will I hurt anything?  Should I just bag the PT that really hurts?  What good does listening to my body do if I don't know what it is supposed to be saying?  

I'm not feeling particularly productive these days.  I think the rehab in and of itself could feel productive if I get the point where I could understand and overcome the rehab (swelling etc.) issues.  Maybe I could feel like I was moving forward instead of sideways at best.

I walked a little, with crutches, at Barr Hill in Greensboro, took a bath (keeping my knees up out of the water), and rode (a big 50 rpm) while watching an episode of 'It's always sunny in Philadelphia'. 

I hope I've gained enough weight back because I don't think I can eat another five pound oatmeal, walnut and margarine breakfast.

Here is what I think....I'll take a certain amount of time to heal no matter what I do.  It's just longer than I want it to be.

I think I'm worrying too much, but other than that, everything is good.