Forty-Four then Forty-Three Days

Yesterday was a pretty pain free day.  No skiing.  8 minutes of one-leg upper-body-only rowing. March 12 is my surgery and after that I'm on my way to taking being pain free for granted. 

Then today.  If my knee felt this good every day until March 12, I'd be psyched.  I did 20 minutes of one-leg, upper-body-only rowing while watching Reno 9-1-1.  Other than that I was perched on the couch.  Took 1/2 meloxicam then went to Highland Lodge to ski with Vince.  For over an hour of uphill I was totally pain free and I might add that it really couldn't have been more breathtaking.  Then the downhill started.  Against my will I snow-plowed as best I could coming off Barr Hill.  I could feel the knee swelling.   Maybe from being on it that long or maybe from the pressure of the snowplow, I'm not sure, but I wasn't nearly as mobile as I was when we started.  Very slowly, side-stepping down a slight decline with more pain then I'd like to admit, I tried not to bend my knee (easy, because it was too swollen to bend) or grimace.  I pretended I was still in my element so Vince wouldn't stress but he was on to me.  Conversationally as not to arouse panic,  I asked how far it was back to the lodge.  His body language indicated that it wasn't right around the corner and got me thinking that we may have a situation here.  There was a house in the distance.  I couldn't see if the driveway was plowed and didn't know how would I get from the trail to their door if it was...but it was something.  On the ski trail, I was trying to figure out a way to appear as though I was moving a lot faster than I actually was, while in reality I was moving more slowly than anyone had ever moved (you can't even imagine).  Still wearing my no-big-deal demeanor, all I could do was keep moving and hope for the best.   It was hard to ignore Vince's sighs and pretend to not hear the under-his-breath, for my 'benefit' comments that were just loud enough for me to know he was saying something and the exact wording wasn't important. 
Wait. Is that a snowmobile?  Thirty seconds later, rounding the corner pulling a track-setter was the Highland Lodge snowmobile (or an angel) with just enough room for me to fit between a lopper and a shovel.  I hadn't been worried a bit.

I can't say I wasn't worried about a knee explosion, and being out of pain meds once I got settled but, it didn't happen.  Once home, I iced and took the other half of the meloxicam.  It's good.

My plan was...if there was an explosion...to tell Vin I wanted to pick up a few things in Morrisville then sneak off to the emergency room somehow.  Luckily I didn't have to think it through all the way because driving would have been impossible.

Forty-Seven Days

Did 35 minutes of upper body rowing while watching some 'Reno 911'.  Skied 1:35 in 35 degrees after a night of rain.  Took 1/2 of a vike before I went out but not even sure I had to.  The knee is still very swollen, firm and ugly.  Because the general knee swelling and huge baker cyst,  it is impossible to straighten my leg. I have to walk slowly and with a limp.  Nice.

It was very damp last night and this morning but I had very little pain.  Even though my knee is firm (it USED TO jiggle when I tapped it but now it doesn't really move), it seems to be less swollen.  I did ice and took a half of meloxicam today.


Somedays I feel like something as specific as a knee replacement couldn't possibly fix all of the wacky knee things I have going on (firmness, baker cyst, limping) and today was one of those days.

Fifty-Four Days

I carefully stepped out of bed and just stood for a minute until I was sure I wouldn't have a knee explosion.  Good to go.
Downstairs, I was on my leg (with crutches) as little as possible.  A minimal amount of personal grooming, tea and just enough oatmeal for me to feel safe taking a multi-vitamin.  Oh, and I washed a couple of windows so when someone asked me what I did today I wouldn't have to say I JUST sat on the couch.
About 8:30 I went to my pink perch (couch).
It was about 10 AM and I usually don't feel like I've wasted the day until around 2 so I was feeling pretty good.  What the hell?  Now my left knee was swelling.  Of course my right knee was swollen...just go ahead and assume that is the case unless I tell you differently.  The pain wasn't horrible (a 6 or 7?)...'ambulance' hadn't even entered my mind....but I was having a really hard time moving.  Rain was in the forecast (always my first thought).  I had to get some fresh air.  Vince says even though we don't get a signal here, 911 would still work.  Slap me, but I put some special blue on my skis and headed out along the river with the phone.  I managed to propel myself to King Farm Road and back in 1:10.  A record for slow.  I stopped and sat a minute on a rock at the side of the trail.  The trip back was a little easier.  The day was mild, windless and overcast.  Very therapeutic.
When I got to within 50 feet of the house the pain started talking to me....still not a 10 but similar enough to the pain on it's way to a 10.  Without even taking my boots off I was breaking a vicodin in half until I remembered not 'staying ahead of the pain' nightmares and took the whole thing.  It's scary being here by myself not knowing what causes the spontaneous explosions.
Anyway.  No ill consequences with the ski.
Did 20 minutes of upper body only on the rowing machine.  I'll bet the left knee was reacting to the last few days of the one-legged indoor exercising.  None of that today...couldn't if I wanted to anyway.

Fifty -Seven Days

The knee was tight when I woke up making me worried I'd have a knee explosion so I stayed in bed and read for a half hour as a transition from in bed to out of bed.  Don't know if that was the reason (probably not) my knee was pretty OK all day.   Iced a couple times.  Couch surfed except for 30 minutes of one-legged bike trainer and 30 minutes of one-legged rowing machine.  Skied for an hour along the river with no tracks.  3 degrees, no wind, sunny.  New sparkling snow. Yum.  I don't know if it was a good idea to be out (doh) but it was so beautiful I couldn't help myself.  It's really not clear what causes the 'episodes'.
I want to be as fit as possible going into surgery so recovery is faster....that's what they say.  I am relatively so unfit now.  Any exercise I try to do right now is just going through the motions but I'm guessing it's better than nothing?

Sixty Days

I'm not sure I can wait sixty days.

I woke up with half of a vicodon next to the bed and, as planned, I was going to stay ahead of the pain today.  I took the pill and got up.  As it turned out, half of a vicodon was too small of a quantity and too late because within minutes my pain was unbearable AGAIN.  Vin was working in the living room where his concern was surfacing in anger.  I was able to sneak upstairs where I figured I could be out of his way while I waited for the pain meds to kick in.  They weren't kicking in and soon the pain was off the charts.  I didn't know what to do.   The pain was indescribable and there was no way I could make it downstairs and then to the car to get to the ER.  It was 9:30 and I couldn't wait until my 2:30 knee draining appointment with Leah.  I had to have it drained in the ER.  Vince called 911.  An ambulance came.  The lights were flashing as they loaded me onto a chair thing that got me down the stairs.  The meds were starting to kick in and, although barely, the trip to the ER was tolerable.  Yada yada.  I ended up waiting for Leah at 2:30.  She attempted to drain the knee as usual but the blood/fluid was so viscous she was only able to extract 28 ccs.  She pulled on the syringe for about 5 minutes.  Guy helped by 'milking' the fluid toward the needle.  At one point we all jumped because something 'let go' and Guy said a large amount of the fluid shot out.  Usually in a minute and with no apparent effort she is able to extract 75 to 100 ccs.  She band-aided the needle hole.  I didn't experience the relief I normally do.  When I got home the compression sleeve was soaked with blood and the 'wound' was still bleeding.  Surrounding the 'wound' was a bruised swelling the size of an egg.  Leah has drained my knee at least 20 times and nothing like this had ever happened.  I called the office.  Lisa answered and I explained this unusual (for me) series of events.  She said Leah was with a patient but she would have her call me.  A half hour later Lisa called back telling me to 'take two aspirin and call me in the morning' (except 'don't call me in the morning').  I asked Lisa several questions, none of which she was able to answer except when I asked her what her position there was and she told me she was a scheduler.

Anyway, the knee is still embellished with a bruised egg that is bleeding.  What's going on?

My big worry is....since draining offers no relief....what do I do if (and I know it will) the knee does that pain thing again.  I feel like the only thing I can do is be medicated ALL THE TIME.