Seventeen Days...let me explain

Pre-op appointment with PA Leah.
"I have a surprise for you"  I said.  (pause)  "I want them both done now."
She was surprised but not so much that she fainted or anything.  
I knew that my decision would probably effect the schedule but I accepted that. 
Turned out that a guy that was scheduled for March 15 was begging to be scheduled March 12.  So we just swapped since the doc had more flexibility on the 15th.  Perfect.

Sixteen Days

It was Monday February 27.  I was up thinking I would be able to do some housework before I went out to ski for 3 hours when all of a sudden my right knee exploded.  Half hour later, just to make sure I was staying inside, my left knee exploded like never before, almost.  So that's what it will be like when I can't use either leg (i.e. simultaneous bilateral knee replacements).  I managed to upper body row...barely...for 35 minutes.  It seemed as if there was no reason for the episode but thinking about it, it may have been the flying and walking without crutches interview and two legged stationary bike the day before.  In any case, I was relieved to have a pain med.

Seventeen Days

I'm just making up the day numbers now.

February 23 I had a GREAT ski before we drive south to the Hartford airport.  No pain.   Then February 24 we flew to Tallahassee for a MFA film school interview.  That made me nervous since I knew that the student's average age was 25 and even with perfect knees I was giving something up being 55.  My strategy was to not use my crutches and not mention my new knee with the interviewers.  If for some reason they asked why I was limping I would just say that I sprained my knee skateboarding.

While in Northampton I had my teeth cleaned at my real dentist's office.  They all knew about the what they consider arrogant orthopedic surgeons vs. the dental profession (I knew they would) and assured me that a cleaning 19 days before surgery was OK.

Before we flew out on Sunday, February 26 I rode the stationary bike with both legs for 35 minutes.  Seemed good.  I was able to retain my exit row seats by convincing the flight attendants I was just transporting the crutches.  Bear in mind that I was fully capable of assisting with the exit in case of an emergency and I wasn't endangering everyone else on the flight just so I could have more leg room.

Eighteen Days

I almost forgot I'd promised to write everyday.  OOPS. 
Anyway.  There was my joint class where the doc said something about dental work and avoiding it for a certain amount of time before the surgery.  I thought he said 2 weeks.  I had an appointment for a teeth cleaning 2 1/2 weeks before the surgery but I thought I'd call and check in to see if he wanted me to take any special precautions.  I called and of course the phone person made me tell her my question and of course she wouldn't leave a message because she said she would be able to get the info from someone else.  She didn't say who but I knew it was the scheduler.  I was on hold for 2 minutes.  She came back, "cancel your appointment"  easy for her to say, she didn't know what I'd gone through to make that appointment.  She said it was withing 3 weeks of the surgery so I had to cancel.  I asked her what gave her permission to override the doctor and she put me on hold again.  This time the scheduler picked up and said it was indeed 3 weeks, and what a coincidence...she had just asked Dr. Huber and he said 2 weeks.  And by the way, they were scheduling into August so good luck in having the other knee done soon after the first one.   Something in the way she asserted herself led me to believe she was making up her answer.  Then the doc's assistant called back to say I couldn't let a dentist in my mouth from 6 weeks before surgery.  I didn't tell you that the official joint book...from the doc's assistant...explicitly said that I wasn't to do the dentist for 6 to 12 months after and no mention of the before.  So guess what I did?  I kept my appointment and my teeth were cleaned 19 days* before the surgery and if I go blind or loose leg I don't know who I'll blame.
*I told the doc I did the 19 days and he said "oh, you'll be fine."

Nineteen Days

I think I'm one day off (should be 20) but whatever.
Skated 2:05 this morning, some crust cruising, without incident.
Went to my 'joint class'.  They had the hip people in there with us.  I felt pretty young.  Had a lot of questions.  I always hate it when one person has so many questions....but that's when someone likes to hear themselves talk.  I hope the group didn't think I just wanted to hear myself talk.
The doc was talking about the replacement surgery and recovery of the hip.  Then he talked about the replacement surgery and recovery of the knee and the hip sounded to much easier.  When he was done he asked if there were any questions.  I raised my hand and asked matter of factly  "Can I get a hip replacement instead?"
Tried to diagonal ski 40 minutes late in the day and had no kick.  Still enjoyed being out.
Still have to use crutches.  The class emphasized the importance of a strong upper body.  I should have that going for me.  

Twenty Days

When I got up in this morning I knew I was going to have issues with the right knee and I was right.  Crutched a few blocks to breakfast and back very timidly.  Got back to the hotel and my knee felt like it does when I'm stranded on the ski trail.  Was able into hobble into the shuttle to LGA.  Hobbling got harder but I was able to make it to the 36 seat DASH 80 on the tarmac where the flight attendant took away my exit row seat :(.  Actually I would have felt pretty guilty about sitting there since I would have just been in the way of people trying to get out.
Took 2, 5/325 vicodens, one at a time, to get the pain to a tolerable level.  I anticipated the pain and swelling pretty well for a change.  At least I know that my knee still sucks with the recent pain free days luring me into a false sense of security.

Didn't ski.  Rowed 30 minutes watching Reno 9-1-1.

Twenty-One Days

Used my 30 dollar 24 Hour Gym pass until it expired today at 8:25.  Upper-body-only rowed 50 minutes and elyptical machined for 15.  Crutched to breakfast and the Highline Park.  All good.
Leg room at Jersey Boys was barely doable.  Had to convince myself I was comfortable even with my knees bent hard in one position for 3 hours.  If the show hadn't been soooo good I wouldn't have been able to sit through it.  Didn't have to be convinced to take cabs the rest of the evening.  Two people in a priius cab with a pair of crutches taking up half of the back seat is almost too tight.  Four people in the back of a Toyota Camry cab is too tight.*

My claustrophobia kicked in and I yelled "I can't do this" then got out at a red light and moved to the front. Since I'm not moving at lightening speed these days, that rear to front seat transition made everyone nervous.

Twenty-Two Days

Forty five minutes in the 24 Hour Gym on the rowing machine then crutched for miles in NYC.  From 27th and 7th into Central Park and back and around.  Other than a muscle sore upper body, was good.

Twenty-Three Days

Skied 1 1/2 hours.  Drove rental car to Burlington Airport without any problems knee-wise.  Flew to NYC and took a taxi to hotel...all without incident.  Crutched to Wholefoods Chelsea and then some.  Went well other than knocking over a stack of Parmesan cheese with my crutch.  Picked up the meds but didn't need them.

Twenty-Four Days

Skied 2:15 today and the knees are pretty much OK.  Incredible by the way.  Took a half of a meloxicam and iced when I got back.  I think the the pain I have now is from being on them in the house too much....packing to go to NYC which will be interesting.  I know I'll be OK just not sure what contortions I'll have to go through to be OK.  I'm flexible and have warned the girlfriends about my crutches etc.  Good thing they are used to me and my quirks.
I wasn't going to, but I called the doc to have a vicoden prescription called-in in case of an emergency.  I'd hate to get into a #10 on the pain scale situation in NYwithout any.  Shouldn't have waited until today to call them in since it may not give them enough time to turn them around.  I really doubt I'll need them but I'm a little nervous.

Twenty-Five Days

The right knee was stiff and swollen but not bad.  No pain to speak of.   BUT.  The left knee was stiff and swollen and painful.  I just hope the right knee is so painful I can't stand it the day I go in.

Skated 1:45 hr. south and 1 hr. north.  40 degrees made very slow conditions.

Even being laid up I can still knit, read, watch a movie, write, do ebay, email, order components for projects, dream and that's what I did.

Twenty-Six Days

Skated and 1 1/2 hours and not very far.  A half hour out I got slammed with the flu and it took me an hour to limp back.  Couldn't even blame it on my knee.  So.  I was immobilized for a whole different reason.  Good thing I had my convalescence corner all set up because once I got home I couldn't do anything but lay down and try not to move at all.  Probably lost another pound.  I'M NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC!

Almost wish I had more knee pain since everyone that has gone through the surgery says that now they are pain-free.  I'm already pain-free sort of.

I have an interview for the Florida State MFA film program in 10 days.  I think I try to walk into the interview without crutches like a normal young applicant.  Don't think I want to mention the knee replacement since they'll equate it with 'old person'....I probably would.  We both know that once I get a new knee, I'll be as good as new but I doubt they would know that and I'm sure my age is already a strike against me.

Twenty-Seven Days

Had my first of several Dr appointments for the surgery.  A pre-op evaluation by my primary care doc.  The scale said I'd lost 5 pounds.  Wonder how much my thigh muscles weighed?  I'm down to 118 which is 'weigh' to skinny.  Seems like I eat plenty but when I sit around most of the day I don't get hungry.  Plus it's a pain to grocery shop and cook since it is hard to get around.  My weight may be shrinking but at least I'm still 5'8 1/2".
Skated 2 hours today and again....NO PAIN.  I'm hoping to build up my thigh muscles and gain some of that weight back.  Not sure of the last time I was this thin.  When I broke my leg in 1975 I think I was around 120.

Twenty-Eight Days

What's going on?  Skated 2:05 and no knee pain during or now.  I got a blister from my boot and that kind of hurts but whatever.   Walked a bit without my crutches because I could and because I want to practice getting along without them so when I go to Florida State University for the MFA Film program interview (one of the 60 out of 300 chosen)  I look like I have some life left in me.  (I'll already be 30 years older than most of the candidates they interview) I don't feel like I'm being dishonest because in the Fall when the program starts I will have some life left in me.
Still quite swollen.

Twenty-Nine Days

Twenty-nine days seems so many fewer than thirty. 

Skate skied 2:45.  I was tired but my knee felt great the whole time.  I got my pulse up.  Feel like my quads got some exercise so they maybe they won't be so pathetic when I try to recover from the surgery.
Slept without taking a 5/325 vicoden like I have been.  Was uncomfortable and took forever to get to sleep since pain is more obvious at night.  Will probably take one tonight.

Friday I drive my rental car to the airport (90 minutes to Burlington) and fly to NYC.  Pretty ambitious. I'm a little anxious but my knee has been so good...

Thity Days

Not much to report since I skied 2:25 and have no pain.  Diagonal skied for 2 hours with no kick then tried skate skiing for 25 minutes.   Skating with the stiff boots and stable skis was so fun.  So maneuverable. Way easier than diagonal.  Can't believe I was scared to try it.  No slipping which seems safer since I decided slipping was often causing the swelling.

It's almost like the 6 weeks of immobility was more of an injury and now it's almost healed.  I'm not considering backing out of the surgery because I still can't really walk unaided.  But it might give me a chance to build up some of the muscle tone I lost.

Until sometime after March 12, I'll continue to ice and sit surrounded by books and knitting.

Thirty-One Days

Carefully did some housework this morning.  When I say carefully I mean like vacuuming sitting down.  Was good.  Last night I had some weird sharp pains in my left knee when I turned a few times.  Not when I turned oddly, just when I turned.  The doc addressed the sharp pains a month ago...there is a top and bottom.  When 'they're' good they fit together and run smoothly and when they're bad, they don't fit together because they've worn differently.  I can sort of picture that I guess.

I'm still trying to figure out why I'm so pain free.  I took half of a meloxicam after vacuuming sitting down and that's it.

Skied 2 1/2 hours.   Mid-30's and sun.  NO KICK but managed to not slip which is good because I decided that is what immobilizes me.  Propelled myself with my arms and enjoyed every second.

Monday I have a pre-op evaluation for the knee replacement with my primary care doc.  I'll just keep moving forward and pretty soon I'll be dancing.

Thirty-Two Days

Parked the car by the bridge at the end of Young Road so I wouldn't have to go down any hills unless I wanted.  Good idea.  Double poled in the sun for an hour and a half.  It was fast but I made sure I didn't slip and that did the trick.  And guess what?  I realized that I could snow plow if I had to with no repercussions.  Even with all of these new conclusions and even though it would be in my nature....I'm not going to push it.   I doubt my heart rate is ever over 100 but being outside is good stuff for the old head.
I still use my crutches to keep weight off the knee...mostly to keep the swelling down so I'm able to get out every day.  I look so forward to that time.  Lately, but before I was couch ridden, I would try and get some exercise everyday but I'd do it mostly just to get it over with.  Now I actually really look forward to it.  Everything changes when you identify and stop taking things for granted.  So, my knee....which could have been perceived as a TOTAL disaster, ended up spawning this incredible benefit.  (this is my attitude when it is sunny).
The baker cyst is still missing and I'm in almost no pain at the moment.
If a fit upper body helps with knee replacement recovery, I'll be dancing in a week.
Until tomorrow.

Thirty-Three Days

Today was good.  Got 1 1/2 hours of double poling in.  Mostly stayed sitting the rest of the time.   Plus.  I looked and my baker cyst is gone.  What the?  Can't say I miss it.  Maybe that's why the pain has been at such a low level lately.
When I'm painless I space out for a second and think that I don't have to have it done.  Then I remember how immobile I am whether I'm painless or not.  I think I'm a little bummed when I'm sitting here pain-free because everyone I've talked to says the best thing about having a knee replaced is that now they are pain-free.  Shit.  What is going to be my 'best thing'?  I hope there will be some huge difference.
That's about it for today.

Thirty-Four Days

Awoke to a knee that is as good as it gets these days.  It was going to be in the 40's so I waited until late morning when it got slow.  I planned an ambitious ski and headed north into the hills.  I got about 2 km, slipping like crazy.  THAT (slipping) is the culprit.  The happy knee started to blow up and I knew when I got to the Center that I was going to have to head back home before I couldn't move.  I limped south, side stepped down the step hill and made it to the house in 1:05.  Took a meloxicam, 5/325 vike and iced.  I wrote about my eating, knit, put a few things on ebay and read until I went to the post office. The knee retreated enough to drive...and while it was still light I parked on the side of the road and double poled on the flats for an hour without incident.  Feeling OK tonight.
Emailed with the girlfriends about our trip to NYC coming up.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous about driving to Burlington, getting on a plane to the city and spearheading a 4 day outing.  As long as I bring a few just-in-case pills I should be OK.  If it wasn't Linda and Sarah, I wouldn't go.
Most days I'm pretty comfortable.  The message from the physical therapist seemed to be a big set back from which I am finally rebounding.
Quality of life is sitting at about 50% when it is sunny.

Thirty-Five Days

I think I have my surprise knee quirks figured out.  Again, frozen granular doesn't work.  Today I was out 2 1/2 hours moving the whole time and it felt great.  I did what we call the Grand Tour.  Along the flats then UP and rolling which was all OK.  They whole time I was UP, I was wondering how I would get DOWN but figured I work it out.  I side stepped down the big hill home and no one even saw me.  Getting down was a relief...not even a big deal.
Sun made it a happy day.
Since my knee is feeling so good tonight, it would be really easy for me to get cocky...cleaning, cooking, walking without crutches...I ALWAYS suffer the next day when I do that so I'm forcing myself to just sit.
Anyone else would look at my knee tonight and say it looked horribly huge but it is so much smaller than it has been.

Thirty-Six Days

Weird.  I skied 2:10 on the flats, did 10 minutes of upper body rowing and have pretty much no pain.  I think skiing on powder is good and skiing on frozen granular is bad.  Whatever it is, I'm not complaining.  Skiing on the flats like I've been doing won't increase my fitness.  I doubt I'm even maintaining but being out does wonders for me mentally and since I'm sentenced to the couch most of the time, getting out is HUGE.

Even with a pill, it was hard to get comfortable enough to sleep last night.  Although I have very little pain right now, I'll probably take one before I hit the sack tonight since the pain is more obvious when I'm in bed.

I find myself getting cocky and walking without crutches when the pain isn't bad and it ALWAYS sets me back.  It's usually the next day or later in the day when I ski that I am kicking myself.   I should always use my crutches to keep weight off my right leg/knee.  The knee is always swollen and even when it isn't hurting, it is too swollen to straighten...another reason it's hard to walk and crutches are good.  It's swollen hard.  It used to be swollen and more liquidy soft and spongy.  The baker cyst isn't bothering as much as earlier in the winter. 

I'm babbling.

Thirty-Seven Days

It's nice having a friend here visiting.  Someone to whom I can unload.

I spent too much time on my legs this morning.  Cleaning, laundry, groceries etc.  It's way self involved but if I want to get out and get some exercise it is important that the exercise is the only time I am on my legs.   The skiing was fast again.  I made too many quick movements that tensed the pseudo muscle above my knee.  It's way swollen but the pain is tolerable as long as I'm not trying to sleep.  I am off to bed soon and took a 5/325.

February resolution:  Savor the couch time.

Thirty-Eight Days

I should live somewhere that is sunny all the time.  I don't think I used to feel so hopeless on cloudy days.
Tried to ski for an hour up at the Center and it was too fast.  I can't really move my feet so going down the slightest grade I involuntarily tense the muscles...what's left of them...above my knee and THAT hurts.   Surprise.   I want to scream and sometimes do.

Thirty-Nine Days

No pain.  No drugs.  Except a 5/325 vike before bed and the meloxicam.  I dread bedtime since I know I'll toss and turn.
Skied 1:40 in the rain.  Slow, so even with slogging the pushing put pressure on my knee.  It was a 6 or 7 but tolerable.   Did a loop (up to town) with a biggish downhill.  Since it was so slow, I knew I wouldn't have a problem on the decent.  Did upper body only rowing for 20 minutes.
Loranne came from New Hampshire to entertain me while I'm couch-ridden.  Did a little afternoon outing to Willey's and the Craftsbury General Store.
My attitude is getting a little better because it's been sunny a lot and there is enough snow to ski.  I still feel horribly unproductive because of being so immobile.  I can't seem to get it together enough to come up with a project that feels worthwhile to me.  I'm sure billions of people would love to be in my position.  If I was normally less active I don't think I would feel like I was at such a standstill.
The skiing movement is more natural than the walking movement to me lately so it feels better to ski than walk.  Is that weird?