Forty Days #2

Plodded south along the river for an hour and a half after the swelling went down enough.  Still uncomfortable but worthwhile. 
Maybe yesterday was a bit much.
The explosion of the left knee today makes me think that if I just have the right knee done, I'll still be hobbling.  Should I have them both done?

Forty Days #1

What the hell?   10:46 AM.  My left knee just exploded.  Not painful while sitting.  Maybe a 3 when I'm moving.  I pretty much am immobile with it like this.

Forty-One Days

Less than 6 weeks !  yay.   Six more weeks of my legs continuing to atrophy.

There used to me a muscle there on the outside.

So Saturday I got rescued by a snowmobile and today I skied 2:20...most of it, north of here in the hills.  I was never anywhere I could've gotten stranded.

No pain to speak of and just 1/2 of a meloxicam.  Who knows?  I have a theory.  My knee has been swollen so long and so hard that it seems like things are getting used to being stretched...therefore it's not as painful.

Got a hydrocodone refill (5/325s).  Think I'll try just taking one before bed if I need it....none during the day unless I have an explosion.  I seem to be able to ski with the meloxicam.  I dread going to bed.  Tossing and turning like I do makes the nights so long.

My rented Ford Focus got stuck at the end of the driveway  today with me in it.  I put all of the groceries in my backpack and crutched up the driveway, traded one crutch for a snow shovel, got some ashes and crutched/snowshoveled back to the car.  A few ashes and what seemed like enough shoveling did nothing.  I was sure I'd drive right out.  Finally the neighbors that were watching through their window 10 feet away came out to help and a half hour later I was driving out of the hole we'd dug.  (Thank you neighbors!)  

THEN my knee hurt.

Forty-Two Days

A more cheerful sitting situation there could not be.

I sit on that pink couch all day.  Ignore the wires and it's a pretty happy spot.

I do best if I can stay off my knee other than getting a little exercise.  As much as I hate sitting all day, I know I'm lucky to be in a situation where that is possible.

I have to say I have been pain free all day.  That's before, during and after a 2 hour ski along the river.
Plus 11 minutes of one legged upper body on the rowing machine.

Ice and 1/2 meloxicam.

I'm trying to get up enough courage to post a photo of my muscle-less thighs.  I caught site my right thigh the other day and thought it belonged to someone else.  Like to someone from Biafra.

Forty-Four then Forty-Three Days

Yesterday was a pretty pain free day.  No skiing.  8 minutes of one-leg upper-body-only rowing. March 12 is my surgery and after that I'm on my way to taking being pain free for granted. 

Then today.  If my knee felt this good every day until March 12, I'd be psyched.  I did 20 minutes of one-leg, upper-body-only rowing while watching Reno 9-1-1.  Other than that I was perched on the couch.  Took 1/2 meloxicam then went to Highland Lodge to ski with Vince.  For over an hour of uphill I was totally pain free and I might add that it really couldn't have been more breathtaking.  Then the downhill started.  Against my will I snow-plowed as best I could coming off Barr Hill.  I could feel the knee swelling.   Maybe from being on it that long or maybe from the pressure of the snowplow, I'm not sure, but I wasn't nearly as mobile as I was when we started.  Very slowly, side-stepping down a slight decline with more pain then I'd like to admit, I tried not to bend my knee (easy, because it was too swollen to bend) or grimace.  I pretended I was still in my element so Vince wouldn't stress but he was on to me.  Conversationally as not to arouse panic,  I asked how far it was back to the lodge.  His body language indicated that it wasn't right around the corner and got me thinking that we may have a situation here.  There was a house in the distance.  I couldn't see if the driveway was plowed and didn't know how would I get from the trail to their door if it was...but it was something.  On the ski trail, I was trying to figure out a way to appear as though I was moving a lot faster than I actually was, while in reality I was moving more slowly than anyone had ever moved (you can't even imagine).  Still wearing my no-big-deal demeanor, all I could do was keep moving and hope for the best.   It was hard to ignore Vince's sighs and pretend to not hear the under-his-breath, for my 'benefit' comments that were just loud enough for me to know he was saying something and the exact wording wasn't important. 
Wait. Is that a snowmobile?  Thirty seconds later, rounding the corner pulling a track-setter was the Highland Lodge snowmobile (or an angel) with just enough room for me to fit between a lopper and a shovel.  I hadn't been worried a bit.

I can't say I wasn't worried about a knee explosion, and being out of pain meds once I got settled but, it didn't happen.  Once home, I iced and took the other half of the meloxicam.  It's good.

My plan was...if there was an explosion...to tell Vin I wanted to pick up a few things in Morrisville then sneak off to the emergency room somehow.  Luckily I didn't have to think it through all the way because driving would have been impossible.

Forty-Six and Forty-Five Days

Yesterday.  Thought I could get away without the pain management routine I'd perfected but I was wrong.  I did upper body rowing for 20 minutes.  In hind site, even though I'm not bending my knees, I'm still supporting the push with my legs and therefore my knees, which may not be a good idea.  Also in hind site, I cleaned the stove and kitchen, did bedding laundry and  mopped upstairs....none of which was a good idea either.  Anyway.  I drove to ski and my knee was so swollen I was virtually immobile.  I double poled like an old person for a while which may have been worthwhile had the flat sections of tracks been longer than 50 feet before I had to get out of the tracks and change directions which took a minute each time.  I iced and took 1/2 meloxicam. 
Any abrupt movement (which under normal circumstances isn't an abrupt movement) involving tensing my right leg muscles above the knee (believe me, it doesn't take much) is very painful and scary because I feel as if I have no control over any movement in the near future.

Today was sunny so spending time on the couch was a bit more enjoyable.  I had planned on a big ski day but immediately realized that I wasn't much better off than yesterday.  I was a little more mobile but mid-way through my hour I had to sit in the backseat of the car with my legs out in front of me for ten minutes.  At home...more ice, the other 1/2 meloxicam and 1/2 vicodin.  Right now (9 PM) I'm thinking I may be able to get some sleep tonight.

I edited some old film footage, read and knit....all from the couch.

Forty-Seven Days

Did 35 minutes of upper body rowing while watching some 'Reno 911'.  Skied 1:35 in 35 degrees after a night of rain.  Took 1/2 of a vike before I went out but not even sure I had to.  The knee is still very swollen, firm and ugly.  Because the general knee swelling and huge baker cyst,  it is impossible to straighten my leg. I have to walk slowly and with a limp.  Nice.

It was very damp last night and this morning but I had very little pain.  Even though my knee is firm (it USED TO jiggle when I tapped it but now it doesn't really move), it seems to be less swollen.  I did ice and took a half of meloxicam today.


Somedays I feel like something as specific as a knee replacement couldn't possibly fix all of the wacky knee things I have going on (firmness, baker cyst, limping) and today was one of those days.

Forty-Eight Days

Did my pain management and skied 1:20 south along the river.  Heaven.  Do I sound like a broken record?  I was actually hoping to get to the point where I sounded like a broken record....i.e. find a routine that worked.  So now I know how I can get away with a little ski, I rented a car so I'm not stranded here on the couch while Vince is in school 9 hours a day and my couch nest is right where I want it...filled with good books, a writing pad and knitting.  Life is good.

I still have pain but it is tolerable.  A week ago I didn't know how I would make it to March 12.
The knee is still very swollen.  I googled 'swollen knee + coagulated blood' and got a couple articles.  One where the guy died and the other where they amputated the leg.   Then I notice the articles were from 1880.

Forty-Nine Days (and some Fifty)

I hope it's not bad luck to miss the post with 50 days to go.  I'm down with the pain management.  Pre-ski vike and 1/2 meloxicam.  Skied 2 hours today and 2:15 yesterday.  Both days started out south along the river.  Yesterday I climbed up out of the valley toward Greensboro which felt fine but coming down, which is generally pretty close to the most fun thing ever possible, was sort of scary.   I've never been aware of my knee in a snowplow and this time it was all I could think about.  The doc says I can't do anything to make the knee worse but what I'm worried about is short-term....having it explode and getting stranded.
You're wondering why I take, what sound like, chances.  I want to be fit for the surgery and I love being out so it's worth the little bit of risk I am taking. 
My knee is swollen as usual. Instead of being mailable, liquidy and loose, it's a bit spongy and sort of hard.  NOT liquidy.  I'm going to do a little research of my own because it's different than it used to be.  The PA and doc aren't concerned. 

Fifty-One Days

Took a 1/2 vicoden** and 1/2 meloxicam an hour before I went out for a ski*.  I headed north from the house which meant there would be a few steep-ish downhills on the way back home.   I'd been avoiding this route due to fairly shitty conditions but the new snow last night should make it more-than-likely doable.  Half way around the loop I was not totally surprised when I felt my knee swelling so I headed home which was the same distance either way. :)  I was out 1:50.  It was delicious.  Sunny, 15 degrees and new snow.  Yum.
I iced when I got home and was very comfortable.  Comfortable enough to do 20 minutes of upper body on the rowing machine and go out again flat along the river for 1:10... with no more medication.  Now, showered and reclined on the couch, I am pretty much pain free.  High pressure*** again but I think the meloxicam may be working for me.
I've 'always' been passionate about getting some exercise everyday and having the surgery coming up, in the spirit of a quicker recovery, I'm even more determined to get out everyday.
*when I mention skiing, it is always Nordic skiing.
**all the books say that after surgery, for PT, the patient should take a pain killer in order to get the most out of the PT session.  Seemed like that same protocol should work for skiing and I want to go into the surgery being as fit as possible.
***I like to think weather has an effect on my arthritis even though I know it probably doesn't.

Fifty-Two Days

I think I'm getting the hang of the pain management.  Took a half of vicoden and half of meloxicam after I skied 1:20 so I could sit without moaning.  I really think the meloxicam works.  Is it possible that I have come across an anti-inflammatory that works for me?  And then there was high atmospheric pressure today too...that never seems to hurt.

All in all...pretty darn comfortable today.   The pain is thankfully at a level I could tolerate until March 12.  I'm thinking I may do a slightly more ambitious ski tomorrow. 

For the record....this is my personal knee journal and probably wouldn't be interesting to anyone with good knees.  In fact there is a good chance it wouldn't be interesting to anyone but me....IF it's even interesting to me.  In my defense, I would love to read someone else's pre and post-op knee journal as I'm waiting for surgery just to compare notes.

Fifty-Three Days

Setting more slow records, I was out for an hour and a half today.  The trail south along the river hadn't been groomed and had frozen after last night's rain but it was surprisingly good albeit a bit fast for someone that can't really react to the terrain under her feet.

The right knee...I think I'll call it Frankie because it makes me walk like Frankenstein, was very painful (7 1/2?) before I went out so I took 1/2 Meloxicam, waited an hour and then left.  It was like a miracle.  I had very little pain even though Frankie was very stiff and swollen.  My skiing wasn't pretty, I know that without being able to see myself, but I was thrilled to be out with almost no pain.  Now I'm back in and I'm still OK.

This morning I did 16 minutes of upper body on the rowing machine at a pulse rate of around 100...nope, I don't kill myself.  I stopped rowing because Frankie ache was escalating.

Then. Icing 3 times and heat once.  I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't do heat.  The knee (I don't think I could get used to calling it Frankie) started hurting after the heat...not right after so I'm not sure it's connected.  I'll try it again and pay closer attention.

Being able to ski pain free for an hour or so up until the big day would make me so happy.

BTW.  Last night was full of tosses and turns.  My left knee is pain free today.  Who knows?

Fifty-Four Days

I carefully stepped out of bed and just stood for a minute until I was sure I wouldn't have a knee explosion.  Good to go.
Downstairs, I was on my leg (with crutches) as little as possible.  A minimal amount of personal grooming, tea and just enough oatmeal for me to feel safe taking a multi-vitamin.  Oh, and I washed a couple of windows so when someone asked me what I did today I wouldn't have to say I JUST sat on the couch.
About 8:30 I went to my pink perch (couch).
It was about 10 AM and I usually don't feel like I've wasted the day until around 2 so I was feeling pretty good.  What the hell?  Now my left knee was swelling.  Of course my right knee was swollen...just go ahead and assume that is the case unless I tell you differently.  The pain wasn't horrible (a 6 or 7?)...'ambulance' hadn't even entered my mind....but I was having a really hard time moving.  Rain was in the forecast (always my first thought).  I had to get some fresh air.  Vince says even though we don't get a signal here, 911 would still work.  Slap me, but I put some special blue on my skis and headed out along the river with the phone.  I managed to propel myself to King Farm Road and back in 1:10.  A record for slow.  I stopped and sat a minute on a rock at the side of the trail.  The trip back was a little easier.  The day was mild, windless and overcast.  Very therapeutic.
When I got to within 50 feet of the house the pain started talking to me....still not a 10 but similar enough to the pain on it's way to a 10.  Without even taking my boots off I was breaking a vicodin in half until I remembered not 'staying ahead of the pain' nightmares and took the whole thing.  It's scary being here by myself not knowing what causes the spontaneous explosions.
Anyway.  No ill consequences with the ski.
Did 20 minutes of upper body only on the rowing machine.  I'll bet the left knee was reacting to the last few days of the one-legged indoor exercising.  None of that today...couldn't if I wanted to anyway.

Fifty-Five Days

Another day in a row that I was able to get up without excessive pain.  I was leery but for no reason.  I had an abysmally unproductive couch day except for finishing the xmas card.   I was here alone....Vin's first day of school.  Very strange.  Did 15 minutes each of one legged bike trainer and rowing machine.  Skied to the hill above town and back (1:10).  Took a pill when I got back because the knee felt tight and I was worried there might be another explosion fiasco. 

Doesn't even look like a body part

The egg is almost gone except for a little bruising.

Guy from the ortho clinic called to give me an appointment time with the rheumatologist at Fletcher Alan for tomorrow.  Vin has school and we have one car so that didn't work.  Rescheduled for April.  Doesn't sound like an emergency and I think it would be sort of a wild goose-chase anyway.  I'll go in April and do a little research in the meantime.  The reason for the alarm is that the ANA level is elevated to 160.
I have to come up with a name for the right knee.  That will be my project for tomorrow.
And that's about it.

Fifty-Six Days

For a minute there I forgot what I was counting.
So far....a good day.  Got up, albeit a bit nervous, and my knee was OK.  I was careful around the house.  Mostly sat while painting a cabinet.  Iced a couple times.  Couched some.  Skied 1:10 along the river to the hill before Craftsbury Village.  Good tracks pretty much.  Did 30 minutes of one-legged rowing.  Icing now and still OK.  Skiing pain seems to hoover in the 7 to 8 range but is tolerable and stops when I stop.

Baker cyst with compression sleeve indentations.

Most of the pain seems to be radiating from the baker cyst.

Fifty -Seven Days

The knee was tight when I woke up making me worried I'd have a knee explosion so I stayed in bed and read for a half hour as a transition from in bed to out of bed.  Don't know if that was the reason (probably not) my knee was pretty OK all day.   Iced a couple times.  Couch surfed except for 30 minutes of one-legged bike trainer and 30 minutes of one-legged rowing machine.  Skied for an hour along the river with no tracks.  3 degrees, no wind, sunny.  New sparkling snow. Yum.  I don't know if it was a good idea to be out (doh) but it was so beautiful I couldn't help myself.  It's really not clear what causes the 'episodes'.
I want to be as fit as possible going into surgery so recovery is faster....that's what they say.  I am relatively so unfit now.  Any exercise I try to do right now is just going through the motions but I'm guessing it's better than nothing?

Fifty-Eight Days

Snowed most of the day.  They groomed by the house and I couldn't help it.  I skied for 40 minutes from the door.  Didn't go far and the trail was squirrelly but I'm just fine now 6 hours later.

The most bothersome thing right now is that baker cyst.  Can't straighten my leg so it's hard to walk.

Feels normally painful and debilitating right now.  No more than that.

Fifty-Eight And a Half Days

Yesterday was a couch day.  A permanent divot has settled into the couch that is only going to get bigger.
No huge pain.  Rode the bike trainer with one leg for 70 minutes.  I'm sure that is going to have it's own set of problems before long.

Yesterday's knee fiasco left it bruised and more stiff than it was when I went in.  The egg hasn't changed in volume but is a flatter and wider shape.

Sixty Days

I'm not sure I can wait sixty days.

I woke up with half of a vicodon next to the bed and, as planned, I was going to stay ahead of the pain today.  I took the pill and got up.  As it turned out, half of a vicodon was too small of a quantity and too late because within minutes my pain was unbearable AGAIN.  Vin was working in the living room where his concern was surfacing in anger.  I was able to sneak upstairs where I figured I could be out of his way while I waited for the pain meds to kick in.  They weren't kicking in and soon the pain was off the charts.  I didn't know what to do.   The pain was indescribable and there was no way I could make it downstairs and then to the car to get to the ER.  It was 9:30 and I couldn't wait until my 2:30 knee draining appointment with Leah.  I had to have it drained in the ER.  Vince called 911.  An ambulance came.  The lights were flashing as they loaded me onto a chair thing that got me down the stairs.  The meds were starting to kick in and, although barely, the trip to the ER was tolerable.  Yada yada.  I ended up waiting for Leah at 2:30.  She attempted to drain the knee as usual but the blood/fluid was so viscous she was only able to extract 28 ccs.  She pulled on the syringe for about 5 minutes.  Guy helped by 'milking' the fluid toward the needle.  At one point we all jumped because something 'let go' and Guy said a large amount of the fluid shot out.  Usually in a minute and with no apparent effort she is able to extract 75 to 100 ccs.  She band-aided the needle hole.  I didn't experience the relief I normally do.  When I got home the compression sleeve was soaked with blood and the 'wound' was still bleeding.  Surrounding the 'wound' was a bruised swelling the size of an egg.  Leah has drained my knee at least 20 times and nothing like this had ever happened.  I called the office.  Lisa answered and I explained this unusual (for me) series of events.  She said Leah was with a patient but she would have her call me.  A half hour later Lisa called back telling me to 'take two aspirin and call me in the morning' (except 'don't call me in the morning').  I asked Lisa several questions, none of which she was able to answer except when I asked her what her position there was and she told me she was a scheduler.

Anyway, the knee is still embellished with a bruised egg that is bleeding.  What's going on?

My big worry is....since draining offers no relief....what do I do if (and I know it will) the knee does that pain thing again.  I feel like the only thing I can do is be medicated ALL THE TIME.

Sixty-One Days

I think I toss and turn because of the knee pain and then the pain get worse.  So a double whammy.  How else can I explain this?  I was completely awake this morning and could feel my knee hard with swelling.  I knew when I got up it would probably really swell and be unbearable like yesterday.   Everything I read about pain is to stay ahead of it but my pain meds were downstairs and I was upstairs.  I inhaled and ran...or let's say moved as fast as I could which wasn't very fast...straight to the meds in the pantry with a really full bladder.  Too late (for the meds I got lucky with the bladder).  Within minutes the pain was a 9.5 but the timing was better than yesterday.  I think I may have gotten a little jump on it.  Tonight I'll have the meds near the bed and take them before I get up if need be.  I'll get it figured out.

Even hating needles as much as I do, I couldn't wait to get to the doc to get my knee drained today.  When I got there they told me my appointment was tomorrow.  :( For a change, I wasn't the one that made the error, it was the desk person, but evenso, the knee drainer was out and I was out...of luck.

Sixty-Two Days

Awoke to a 10 pain again.  Swollen like a rock.  Sleeping had been uncomfortable but I had no idea it would swell like it did.  Was a bit better late morning.  Double poled 45 min.  Made PA appointment for tomorrow afternoon to drain it so I can be more mobile.  Figure it would be a good chance to talk about the baker cyst fiasco as well.  Read some of the knee-replacement binder from the clinic.  I hate it.  They keep saying things like "it works 95% of the time" like it's good odds.  Doesn't sound good to me if 5 out of 100 patients still suffer. 

Sixty-Three Days

Slept OK.  Knee is very swollen but not extremely painful.  The baker cyst prevents me from straightening my leg.  Very bothersome but not extremely painful either.  I need to talk to the Doc about the baker cyst non-draining situation if for no other reason than to put my mind at ease.  Will call the ortho clinic tomorrow to see if I can have the knee drained to increase my mobility.

Later that same day.
Tried easy one leg rowing and cycling for about an hour while watching 'curb your enthusiasm'.  Seemed good.  Really trying to figure out what I am able to do other than sitting on the couch until March 12 so I double poled on Big Hosmer Pond for an hour.  It was groomed and low 20's.  I kept most of the weight on my left lake and finished with no extra pain swelling.

Took a half of meloxicam.  I never know if an anti-inflammatory works or not.

Very good.

More Of The Same

Slept OK last night but a few minutes into the morning my knee swelled so I could barely deal with it.  This is getting boring.   Spent most of the day on the couch so I'm hoping tomorrow with be the big pain-free payoff.   Tried the trainer with one leg for 30 minutes.  That's gonna get old fast.

It Was OK Yesterday

I did something really dumb.  I rode the bike trainer again today, like yesterday, except today my knee exploded about a minute after I got off.   I almost passed out.  Took a vicodin got the pain to a 9.  The bike was the breaking point but I was pretty stupid all day.  I washed some windows and all the bedding.  Vacuumed.  Did hoards of dishes and some painting.  Scanned some photos which wouldn't have been a big deal if the scanner didn't involve so many trips to the basement. On and on.  All of this would have been nothing without crutches etc.  Tomorrow I'm going to sit.  Just sit. 


Anyway.


When I tried to find personal documentation like this there was none so I set up this blog.  Seems like a good way to keep a journal leading up to and following the surgery, for me, but also for others in the same situation needing to know what someone else is experiencing.


FYI.  I think I waited too long.  Figures.  Blame it on my commitment phobia.  I was clinging to days when my knee felt a little better, foolishly hoping it may be a temporary condition.  The whole idea of a new knee gave me the creeps.  About two months ago my knee just pretty much quit and I still wanted to think it would rally.  Now it gets worse when I think it's as bad as it can be.  I think that I'm finally resigned to spending the winter reading good books by the fireplace.  Actually doesn't sound too bad.

Aspirating A Baker Cyst (not)

"Baker cysts are common."  THEN THERE SHOULD BE A WAY TO FIX THEM!

The alarm went off at 5:45 so we could be at the hospital for the ultrasound guided aspiration at 6:45.

"Can you roll over on to your stomach for me?"

Shit.  I knew he was going to say that.  About a minute later (nothing is easy these days) I was all lying on my stomach which meant I was also lying on the front of my painful grapefruit of a knee.  I tried to focus on how much better it felt after I suffered through the procedure last year.  That time the doc removed about 60 ccs of bloody serum.  This cyst was bigger so I couldn't wait to hear how much he got this year.

"We're done. 15 to 20."  the doc pretended to sound enthusiastic but didn't fool me.

"That's it?" I thought.

He said there was probably dried blood in there.

Too preoccupied by the pain in the knee on which I was lying and having gotten even less sleep than usual, I couldn't think of one question like, "Can you get the dried blood out?  Does it matter?  Are you just going to leave it?   The cyst is still there and still really close to the size of a lemon.  Does that change the game-plan for the knee replacement?"  That is my big question.  Seems I got up at 5:45 for nothing.  Bummer.

I wish I was his only patient. 

There is something good about the trip.  He wrote me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory called meloxicam.  I looked it up and it's pretty much what we give our dog Max when he's stiff.  He responds to it really well...almost immediately...and I've always said that I wish there was a human version.  Bingo!

I decided mid-morning that I wasn't going to ski today and savored my decision.   Spent about an hour and a half cleaning and most of the rest of the day on the couch.   Spun on the bike for 48 minutes while watching a 'Curb'.  Was fun.  I actually sweat....only because it was hot in the room but it still felt good. Not looking forward to trying to sleep tonight.  Will bring up an emergency 1/2 vicoden.  When I got up this morning the knee hurt more than it does a lot of days.  Who knows? 

My lack of mobility and pain casts a dark shadow over everything.  Like, I used to think it was pretty when it snowed.  Now I fret about how I'm going to be able to walk to the car and once I get to the car, how long is it going to take me to get in?  Cold weather sucks...I used to love it.  Putting on socks or boots...forget about it.  (actually being pregnant probably comes with some of the same frustrations...but they're short term)    I am a different person.  I move so slowly.   Anyway, I'm done complaining.    


It's going to be a really long 10 weeks unless I suck it up and change my attitude.

New Knee Schedule

 knee

I figured a blog would be a good way to document my knee.  Nothing creative.  Just the facts.

It's Wednesday January 4.  Yesterday I had a surgical consult with Dr. Huber.  We both knew it was just a matter of time before I scheduled a day for him to take out my old knee and put in a new one.  Gives me the creeps.  Looks like I am a candidate for a 'patellofemoral replacement' referred to as a 'partial'. The knee has three compartments and only one of mine is totally trashed so that will be the one he replaces.  Even though a 'partial' sounds less creepy, they still go in and take out part of my knee.   Ick.

"He has some time March 12,"  office person Amanda said.
"I'll take it,"  I said.

Before that I there is a
Feb 13 pre-op evaluation from my primary care provider
Feb. 21 joint replacement class the day after I get back from NYC with Sarah and Linda
Feb 28 a meeting with Leah, (Huber's PA)
Feb 28 a meeting with the pre-op nurse

A 'partial' is my optimistic-self talking.  He won't know if the 'partial' is appropriate for sure until he goes in and takes a look the day of the surgery.  That means I'll go in thinking (hoping) I'll come-to with only part of my knee replaced when there is actually a chance the whole thing could be new.  I can't think about it.

The consult was productive.  He was able to answer all of my questions.  I had talked to 5 of his previous patients before I went in which is whole other story but everyone was happy.  One ran a marathon this summer.

In an effort to manage some of the pain until the big day I told him I wanted my baker cyst aspirated like he did last year.  It's bigger this time.  This year it's a lemon and last year it was a golf ball.  I know the cyst filled up again but it stayed smaller for a long time.  My hamstring flicks back and forth across it and drives me so crazy that I'm not even sure it hurts or I just feel like it does.  He can do it Thursday at 6:45 AM.

Why now?  I have too many days like Monday when I got up and couldn't walk.  Don't know what I did.  10 on the pain scale and swollen hard as a rock.  I had some pain meds, took them and avoided a trip to the emergency room.

The pain is most obvious at night.  I never sleep very well.  Some nights, hardly at all.

Today, it's not bad.  It's sunny outside.  Does that make a difference?

Most skiers would wait until the end of the season for the operation but since I can't ski anyway (or even walk), I'm doing it now. 

When I say I can't ski, it's not entirely true.  I can double-pole on the flats.  I always wear my down jacket because I can't go hard enough to sweat.  Yesterday I felt cocky and skied the 3 km man-made loop a few times.  It's not really fun...at least it wasn't yesterday when it was 5 degrees.  I have my bike on a trainer and spin once in a while.  Last time I did that was Sunday, and Monday was '10 on the pain scale' day so the bike may not be a good idea.

I iced this AM.  Took an ibuprophen and made sure my crutches were handy.

I know I'm not the first person in the world to go through a surgery like this but I feel like I am.  

I look forward to being young again.