Day Fifteen

Today should have been my best new knee day yet but I decided to feel sorry for myself instead.
The physical therapist came at 7:30  and before long we got extension/flexion measurements of 0/100 on the left and 0/102 on the right.  We worked up a good mount for the rowing machine, did a couple makeshift squats and a stiff but comfortable pedal stroke.  She told me I should replace my crutches with a cane, which to me is a visual move toward elderly, to her it's one step closer to freedom.

I blame the crappy day on last nights non-sleep.  I'd finally get comfortable enough, nod off, then wake up ....five minutes later!  Over and over.  I feel like I'll never function again.  Like I'm not me.

I did 2 1/2 to 3 sets of PT instead of my new 4 set regime.  The whole feeling sorry for oneself is such a waste of time.  Who ends up suffering?! 

Maybe someday I'll watch a youtube video of a knee replacement which, from what I hear, will answer any questions one may have about why it feels like it does where.  But not for a while.

Tomorrow will be better, I'll make sure of that.

Two Days

Moving forward with the set-up, I located a walker and a commode.
I'm really feeling a sense of community with all of the 70+ locals who have had knee replacements.  Everyone is being so helpful.  One brought over a couple Aircast circulating ice water knee things for me to use and told me to keep her phone number by the bed in case I need help. Another was in town and picked up a couple of gel packs for me. 
I'm doing nagging odds and ends around the house because I don't want to have them hanging over my head when I can't do them.
Today Elinor was walking down the road next to the ski trail.   "How is it today?" she yelled to me when I skied by.  Well of course I thought she was asking about my knee and I went into this long boring scenario, comparing it to yesterday, how I think the boot/ski combination I have on is good...  Then she said "I meant how is the skiing?"
I think my surgery timing is good.  Skiing will be almost done.  Lots of ice and tree litter on the trails right now.
I was just looking at the weather for the days I am in the hospital.  Surgery day is sort of rainy but the day after is cloudless and warm.  I was bummed when I saw that since I'll have to be inside.  Isn't that stupid?
In 25 hours I won't be able to have anything to eat until after the surgery.  I feel like I am going to have some kind of meltdown.

Three Days

Only 2 more ski days left. :(  Skied 2 1/2 hours in the sun today.  Maybe 55 degrees.  I used my waxless skies and skate boots so I was ready for anything.  No knee issues today.
Got lots of good wishes from people that thought I was getting new knees today.  Carol Waters called and we compared pre-op for bi-lateral acl vs. bi-lateral knee replacement.  I keep forgetting that I am going in for petella femoral replacement and not total knee replacement (hopefully).  Very different in my mind.
Spent time looking for a walker to rent or borrow.  The hospital will 'give' me one but then I'll have a walker to store forever.
Talked to the CPM (continuous passive motion) machine people.  The hospital pharmacist called to go over meds.  I called my primary to ask about treating my pre-op irrational fear.  She said I would have to see me in order to prescribe something or I could take Benedryl.  I saw somewhere that listening to music can work too.  I told her I would just have Vince knock me out before he put me in the car that day.   Read over the joint book.   Everyone talks about preparing the house for when you come home but it already seems prepared other than moving the bed into the living room.  I guess I'll want a walker basket if I can get my hands on a walker.  I think I'll be able to use a metal chair in the shower.  I'll need a bedside table the right size and height.  It would be good if I could find a rocking chair.  Guess it works on range of motion and flexibility automatically....I can see that.  Seems like most of that stuff can be organized when I get home.  I suppose I should think about food but I just don't feel like it.  Maybe that should be tomorrow's project.  We'll see.
I addressed the rest of the xmas cards and gathered a few things to mail that I've been putting off.
Now all I have to do is wait.